Thursday, April 06, 2006

Defendant pleads Robble Robble

In Beckemeyer, Illinois--between Carlyle and Breese--there used to be a drive-in theater called the Car-Breeze.
The screen was torn down years ago, but the marquee survives, hidden under a pasteboard sign. Until recently, the concession/projection building was still standing, covered with weeds and surrounded by rusty farm implements. Some of the letters spelling CAR BREEZE DRIVE-IN were still attached to the counter, and some of the equipment was still rusting away under the rotted ceiling.
I used to check on the status of this relic every time I passed by. Today, on my first visit in several months, I couldn't help but notice that the lot had been cleared of weeds and implements, and the old drive-in building had at last been leveled.
But in its place stood something pretty wonderful:
Yes, it's the severed bun of Officer Cheeseburger, McDonaldland's most-decorated keeper of the peace.
His torso was found several paces away.

Actually, the discovery of this wayward piece of playground equipment wasn't a very big surprise. For a few years, a grade school in nearby Breese has been in possession of another piece of old-school playground equipment, apparently donated when a local McDonald's upgraded to the Playplace: a slide festooned with the head of Captain Crook, a long-decommissioned McDonaldland villain. I think I remember seeing other pieces of McDonald's playgrounds scattered around this part of Illinois, usually in school or civic park playgrounds. Do you know of any?